A series of guest posts by Samuel Faith
To read Part I, click here
Never Ever...
There are a million ways to make sartorial mistakes. But there is a pattern with most modern male. We tend to commit the same mistakes over and over again. Recognising and avoiding them will help you a hundred times more than buying the latest “hot” fashion brand. Even if you haven't developed a particular style for yourself yet, simply avoid the followings will help you stand out from the majority... in a positive way
- Never Ever Wear Skinny Jeans
It's hard to believe the headline alone isn't sufficient! Ever see a lamp pole wrapped in denim? No? Good, then put on a pair of skinny jeans and check yourself in the mirror. Waddayathink? It's not your imagination. You really do look like a “doink”. And that's exactly how most skinny jeans transform the wearer... instantly. If you want to be showing off your legs, or your ass, then hit the gym and go to beach. You can also add bulk to your lower half by adding long underwear, climate permitting of course, or a pair of short in addition to your underwear, under your jeans. This applies to the classic silhouette embodied by the football (soccer in the States) player. Skinny jeans can make your look like you have “chicken” legs at best. At worst you'll look like you're wearing a pair of “mantyhose”. Neither is a flattering.Mono color for the whole body.
Ever tried wearing all brown? Brown pants, brown shoes, brown shirts, brown belt and brown watchstrap. Throw in any other favourite colors in your list. It won't make you look cool and edgy. At any rate, unless you are blessed with genetics of Keanue Reeves, you will look like a complete doofus. An exception might be blue. But it's best to choose different hues of blue and pair them up, rather than wearing same hue from head to toe. Total exception is black. Black looks good on anyone. White? You are passing a grey area since this color isn't for everyone. Proceed with caution.
- Never Ever Wear Ugg Boots
Yes, those “uggly” boots from Australia that makes you look like a total tool. The name comes from generic term for sheepskin boots in Australia.
Total lack of style? Check.
Chunkiness and sloppiness? Check.
Downright tarnishing your whole otherwise good look? Absolutely.
These boots have no place on your legs. Do you know what is Australian's term for Ugg wearers? It's “Bogan”, and it's the same term they use for “loser”.
- Never Ever Wear Crocs Shoes
Crocs and Ugg go hand in hand. Crocs come in every color imaginable and still able to maintain the ugly look. Nothing you wear will go along or get more stylish with Crocs, and in fact they will even drive you down to 0 instantly. Only thing that goes along with Crocs? Social ostracism.
Never Ever Wear Too Low Rise Jeans (Pants should rest on your hips, 'nuff said)
The nature of low rise jeans is that they sit below your natural waistline, usually on the hip bones. Ever seen a guy in front of you on a stair or escalator with his jeans dropped so low that half of his boxer-covered butt is smiling at you? That's exactly what you will be doing to other poor fellow pedastarians. Even with normal low rise jeans, showing your butt crack when you bend down or sit isn't sexy. Girls can get away with belly-baring jeans and short tees. But men? Not really...
- Never Ever Wear Flip Flops
It's summertime! Time to hit the beach and unwind, right? So you throw on a tee shirt, a pair of beach shorts and flip flops. Perfect! At the beach or in your shower are the only places to wear flip-flops. But never ever wear them on a casual stroll, much less anywhere else. First of all, flip flops are sloppy. You can't even walk fast without struggling to keep them on your feet. Second, they don't protect your feet. Third, most men don't have pretty feet. Why would you show something that detracts from, or diminishes your style? Easiest slogan to remember is “First, do no harm”. It applies to medicine as well as life. Shoes are very important. They say a lot about the person wearing them, and they complete your look. Shoes are an opportunity. Take it. Use it to your advantage, and never ever wear flip flops.
- Never Ever Wear a Shirt That Doesn't Fit
Never ever wear a shirt that's a size (or two) too large. You will look like a balloon, a sloppy teenager or a combination of both. Even if you tuck in your shirt, the waist area will be unsightly. Never ever wear a shirt that is too small for you. You will look like a sausage wrapped in plastic. Even fit, ripple muscled guys, you're trying too hard and you end up looking like a “tool”. A tailored shirt that follows your body contours closely will let you reveal your fit body, subtle. Style whispers. It doesn't scream and you won't look uncomfortable.
- Never Ever Announce You Are the Smartest Guy in the Room
Unless you’re in a job interview or on a game show, no one wants to hear you spout criticisms or advice. If you’re truly the “smartest guy in the room” people will know without you emphasizing it. Style whispers, it doesn’t scream.
- Never Ever Wear Blaring Designer Labels
If you get paid by the labels to wear their logos on your back and walk down the street, fine. Otherwise, it's best to keep your clothings understated and simple. Wearing labels on your chest, butt or back makes you look like a walking billboard, not stylish. It also screams “show off”.
- Never Ever Wear Loud Accessories
Accessories are one good way to personalized your look and show the world that you are a stylish, confident man who knows how to look edgy and polished. But overdone, it immediately transforms you into a Jay-Z wannabe. It is always best to go subtle with acccessories. Basically you are asking to be shot or hung... and we have volunteers ready for you.
- Never Ever Wear A Jogging Suit, Banana Hammock, or Mesh Underwear
“nuff said”!
- Never Ever Lose Your Temper in Public
It doesn’t make you the better man. ”Hotheads” are poor sports. They never get the girl, the job, the raise or the compliments, and you will look really stupid. Be of even temperament. Style whispers. It doesn’t scream.
- Never Ever Wear Socks with Sandals
We cringe and look for a gun whenever a gentleman strolls down the the street on a warm evening wearing socks with sandals. It is the ultimate conflicting pair. Make a decision! (There is nothing “hotter” than a decisive man) If you are feeling a chill to wear socks, why are you donning sandals? If you are feeling warm enough to wear sandals, why on earth are there socks on your feet? Either way, there is not a man in this whole world that can pull off this look and still look sexy. Case closed.
Opt to wear either sandals only (if you are feeling warm) or wear something like boat shoes (if you are feeling cold but don't want to be too dressy). Even gym trainers are better footwear options than socks with sandals.
- Never Ever Wear Pleats or Kilts
For god’s sake, believe me; no one, short of school girls, gains an advantage with pleated pants. And unless you’re Scottish, and participating in a clan ritual, the kilt is not doing you any favors. You don’t look like a daring individual. You look like a “tool.”
- Never Ever Wear a Backpack with a Suit
It is very surprising and shocking to us when men wearing amazing looking tailored suits attach a carrying backpack to their back. It's either a tribute to nostalgia of being a student, or downright laziness. But a grown-up bag! Backpacks are not relevant, unless you are going to school, going on a personal trip, or trekking. Get a nice gym bag if you need a bag to put in your gym clothes. If you need a bag to carry your pens, tablet, smart phones, daily planner, etc., then grab a good leather messenger bag. They look great on everyone, and if worn properly they can accentuate your ass. And man, it's all about the ass. even when you are look casual.
- Never Ever Use Excessive Amount of Hair products
Unless you are going for a particular vampire-look that sparkles under the sun, using too much hair products is a big no-no. Your girlfriend/boyfriend just wants to run their fingers through your hair, without pain. And even if you are really trying to look like that vampire, don't. Only Robert Pattinson can pull off that look.
Did we mention how difficult it is to make a colored hair look natural? It takes ridiculous amount of time and high maintenance. It's not worth it! You will look like a parrot or a cross-breed between Lady Gaga and parrot. Stay natural... and work your wardrobe base on that. Natural is the best.
- Never Ever Wear Square Toed Shoes
If you are short, these shoes make you look shorter. If you are tall, these shoes make your feet look odd. Seriously, they were popular back in 1990s but have gone away for good for a reason. They should never be worn on any men's feet. Choose something that is sleek, comfortable for your feet and classic. These will stand the test of time.
- Never Ever Leave Your Face Ungroomed
Know what women first notice about a guy? Their face. Even if you are wearing a hand-tailored suit from Tom Ford, unsightly facial hair will ruin whatever chances you have with opposite sex. Not all men can pull off that sexy 5'o clock shadow look. If you can, that's great. But you still have to groom your facial hair to look neat and orderly. Sexy bad guy look doesn't come from looking like a terrorist. Ear, back. Or nose hair must be removed. Case closed.
- Never Ever Mistake Expensive Clothes for Looking Good
Brands and price tags never equal fashion. It comes from choosing clothes that fit you well and match your style. Wearing a Burberry jeans don't make you look sexy. A $200 Gucci t-shirt is not going to make you look like a million buck. It just screams you are trying too hard and look ridiculous.
More soon!
